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  • Eliza Chan

I’m getting married in the morning… or will I just sleep with him?

Ok, I’m a girl and I don’t think there’s any shame in admitting I like looking at people’s wedding photos and (very) occasionally wondering what my day will be like. But if I hear any more about the Royal Wedding I may kick my TV over.

It’s nice that Will has found a nice girl to marry and I’m sure her dress will be lovely. But can I have some decent telly back? Or go into a shop without being bombarded with Royal Wedding discounts, Royal Wedding menus, Royal Wedding bunting and Royal Wedding disposable plates? I don’t care that Kate has lost some weight, or that she feels the pressure of following Diana’s footsteps. Actually, most of the documentaries, commentary and so forth are completely succurilous and sensationalised.  For example this weird vomit-fest. And a quick search through BBC iPlayer gives you dozens of wedding-related TV shows including “Royal Weddings“, “The Great British Wedding Cake” and “Pingu Family at the Wedding Party“.

It’s not just that I’m indifferent, I also hate how the media not only pre-supposes I care but positively demands that I do. It’s as if in the heat of the economic depression they are determined to make it a patriotic focal point that will pull the country together, ignoring the expense, needless frivolity of it, and the fact that public opinion of the monarchy has generally been indifferent or negative in recent history. I am most certainly making a sweeping generalisation but most people I know see the royals as outdated, a waste of tax money and only really for tourists. The real draw, I think, is women reliving that childhood fantasy of a dream wedding with all the trimmings to a handsome prince. That’s it.  Or maybe it’s the Scottish in me resenting the whole thing.

Kate Middleton has suddenly been deemed a style icon. I demand to know who decides this- is there a judge who appoints style icons? Why is she one now, simply for having Diana’s ring on her finger, when she could have been one years ago? And yes, she is a style icon, if the style you are going for is at the Ascot races. Shock horror she once wore TOPSHOP! People cite Topshop as down to earth and high street but they should really remember that Topshop is still high end of the high street. Now if she was walking around in Primark or New Look then I’d be impressed.

It brings me round to the whole cult of celebrity thing which is permeating our lives ever since Victoria Beckham made being a wife an occupation and goal. Victoria, possibly the weakest singer in the Spice Girls has somehow ended up the richest and most international renowned. Now she is a style icon but when you have a credit card bill paid by David Beckham, hang around the rich and famous and have nothing else to do than shop, I challenge you not to dress well. Katie Price went from page three girl to the most artful businesswoman with her finger in every pot. And it’s us that perpetuate this cult of doing nothing. Of sleeping/ stripping your way to fame and red carpet glory. Even those of us who disdain the gossip magazines which sustain these people are battered with it by a Nobel committee that give Barack Obama a Peace Prize before he’s done anything; and a media more interested in the personal lives of politicians than the policies they pass. Japan’s former PM Hatoyama for example, and his alien abducted wife.

I honestly believe the argument that the Cult of Celebrity is damaging children. At least in the mid-1900s it was about ability, be that sporting, musical or acting. Young girls especially now think that sleeping with someone is the ticket to fame and fortune because we appear to be rewarding it. It astounds me that we do.

So really my thought is think twice before you buy the Union Jack bunting. Yes it is a public holiday and an excuse for a party but let’s have a party for someone you care about and means something to you: celebrate your family, your friends, your life, not the life you harbour a high school fantasy about. I wish Kate and Will all the best but not with the effort and fervour that I wish my friends’ on their wedding days, and that’s the way it should be.

Further Reading:

The Observer editorial on the monarchy

The Telegraph on the Cult of Celebrity

#CultofCelebrity #VictoriaBeckham #KateandWill #RoyalWedding #media #wedding #KatiePrice

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